Blindside
by ice shredder
Summary: In the blink of an eye, Connie felt his entire world shatter all over again. There had been the flash of a muzzle, a loud report. Blood. Screams. Shock. Sasha was dead. An icy numbness gripped him. How was he supposed to go on without her? [Tag to chapter 105.] Manga spoilers ahead, folks. You've been warned. Enjoy!


**Disclaimer: I own nothing of SnK and its amazing characters and plot. All belong to the mad genius of Isayama Hajime.**

 **WARNING: MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 105. Read at your own risk!**

 **Summary: In the blink of an eye, Connie felt his entire world shatter all over again. There had been the flash of a muzzle, a loud report. Blood. Screams. Shock. Sasha was dead. Victory turned to ash in his mouth. An icy numbness gripped him. How was he supposed to go on without her?**

 **.**

 **.**

This wasn't happening.

Not again.

 _Not her. I've lost so much already, please, please let this be a bad dream-_

Connie Springer lay slumped against the airship's bulkhead, hazel eyes glassed and unfocused, cheeks tearstained and numb. Sasha Braus was dead. She was _dead._ He still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact his best friend…no the _girl he loved_ was a lifeless corpse when mere hours ago, she'd been laughing and warm. He still felt the gentle pressure of her slim fingers squeezing his forearm, when he pulled her and Jean into a hug stating they were special.

His mind and body were heavy. Sluggish. Glued to the cold floor as if concrete had been poured into his limbs. Unable to comprehend the bright, energetic girl he'd shared the better part of a decade with was unnaturally still, silenced by a vengeful girl's well-placed bullet.

 _Sasha was dead._

Connie didn't know how much time he passed, trying to figure out what happened. The Scouts had been celebrating their first hard fought victory against their oppressors, the nation of Marley and the outside world, when out of nowhere a girl-whose name he soon learned was Gabi-rolled into the cabin clutching a rifle and opened fire, hitting Sasha square in the chest-

 _Screams rent the air, where there'd been cheers moments ago. Sasha lay sprawled on her back, hair fanning her face like a halo, eyes rapidly losing their spark. Terror like no other slammed into his body like a Titan had pummeled him into the side of a building. No! No no no no no, please God, not her, please don't take my special girl away from me!_

 _In the blink of an eye, Connie felt his entire world shatter all over again. The flash of a muzzle, a loud report._

 _Blood._

 _Screams._

 _Shock._

 _He fell to his knees screaming her name, begging her to stay awake, to hold on until they got home. Jean was just as hysterical, yelling for the medics to staunch the bleeding. He knelt there, shock rooting him to the spot as the medics hastily wrapped bandages around her torso, but it was useless. The bullet had pierced an artery to her heart and they simply didn't have the supplies on board to treat such a mortal wound._

 _He dimly heard Jean shove away from Sasha slowly dying on the airship floor, her blood staining the immaculate deck, bracing himself against the wall, shaking with horror and disbelief._

 _He didn't know how long he crouched there, eyes blank and staring. The coppery tang of blood filled his nostrils and it was making him sick. Then the bustling around Sasha stopped._

 _Jean sensed it and whirled on the medics, eyes wild. Demanding why the pair had ceased their efforts, ordering them to save her. To do the impossible._

 _But they shook their heads, the female medic in tears._

" _No! No! She's not dead!" Jean bellowed, using anger to keep him from breaking down in front of his subordinates. "She can't be it's-"_

" _I-I'm so sorry sir!" the girl cried. "W-We did the best we could! I'm sorry…I'm so so sorry!"_

 _The middle age male medic wrapped a comforting arm around his teammate's quivering shoulders, his own voice breaking as he called the time of death to his boss._

 _And Floch's desire to toss the two children out of the airship wasn't helping matters. Jean overrode the man, saying it wouldn't stop the cycle of violence._

 _Connie crawled to where his girl lay unnaturally still on the cold deck, blood staining her uniform and the bandages. Gently, he scooped her up into his arms burying his face in her neck and let the tears flow._

 _Sasha was dead. This was real. She wasn't going to pop up and laugh it off as a prank. The Scouts' victory turned to ash in his mouth. An icy numbness gripped him. How was he supposed to go on without her?_

 _He began to rock back and forth, whispering nonsense into her ear as if she was merely sleeping and not…gone. Her blood soiled his clothes but he was too far into shock to notice._

 _He felt Jean touch his shoulder._

" _Connie," he rasped, throat raw from crying. "Go inform Hange and the others that Sasha has passed away. They…deserve to know."_

 _He was reluctant to move, until the medics moved closer, whispering they would watch over her._

 _Next thing he knew, Connie felt Jean slide his hands under his pits and lift him to his feet._

 _He barely recalled his slow trudge to the prisoner cell, feeling like he was wading through quicksand, his limbs felt like they were weighted with cement._

 _He opened the door, tears still dripping down his face and delivered the heartbreaking news._

" _Sasha...is dead."_

 _Saying it out loud made it feel final. He was too numb to do anything but watch as Mikasa and Armin rushed out of the room to where Sasha had fallen. Too weary to speak as he listened to Jean upbraid Eren for dragging the Corps into his reckless plan and getting Sasha killed._

 _That was when he-along with everyone else in the room-heard thumps as Mikasa and Armin fell to their knees, wailing in the tongue of the dead. Calling Sasha back to them in vain. In all the years he'd known her, the only other time Connie could recall Mikasa weeping like that was back at Trost where they'd found Eren miraculously alive after emerging from his Titan for the first time._

 _But this was different. Sasha had become like a sister to Mikasa, the only female she bonded with after Annie's betrayal, Ymir's disappearance and Historia becoming Queen. The black-haired girl had just lost another family member and he'd lost his reason to smile-_

Connie hugged his knees to his chest, heart splintered into pieces and began to sob. Was this how Jean felt when he lost Marco in Trost? When Levi lost his squad to the Female Titan? He'd long accepted the role of being the support system. The listening ear when someone needed a safe place to vent. The mitigator of his friends' drama. The helping hand he extended without reservation. Every one of his peers at some point in this harsh, bloody struggle had grasped it, seeking stability. Encouragement. Comfort when all hope seemed to fade.

But now that Sasha was gone, he felt his body along with his emotions shutting down.

Who was going to support _him?_

He started as a pair of strong hands lifted him from his prone position into their lap, then relaxed as a familiar pair of concerned light brown eyes and two-tone hair swam into view.

Jean had taken to pacing the deck, unable to relax after watching Sasha bleed to death and listening to Mikasa and Armin screaming and bawling their eyes out. That's when he heard it. Soft sobbing coming from where Connie lay in a ball on the floor.

He couldn't bear listening to his friend suffer alone. So he went to comfort Connie as best he could.

"I was gonna m-marry her Jean," Connie's teary confession made his heart stop and breath hitch. "Was gonna ask her w-when we got b-back. Her dad g-gave me his blessing before we…before we left."

Jean started to rock the younger man soothingly back and forth, not trusting himself to speak. If he did, he'd lose it and he couldn't afford to do that. He was an elite soldier, as was Connie. But right now, his friend could care less about that.

"I had the ring picked out and everything," Connie continued, tears streaming faster, soaking Jean's shirt. "She…she woulda said yes. I-I just _know_ she would've-"

"I know," Jean whispered voice strained and breathy. "I know. She loved you man."

Connie abruptly pushed off Jean's chest, cheeks wet and eyes puffy.

"Why Jean? Why'd it have to be her?"

"I don't know," Jean whispered. "But we gotta finish this thing. For her. You and I. We see this through to the end."

Connie nodded feeling exhaustion creeping up to claim him.

 _Sasha, I hope you're enjoying your huge feast in heaven. Wait for me a little longer Potato Girl. We're going to win. This is my eternal promise to you, my love even if it kills me. Me and Jean won't let your death be in vain. I love you._

 **A/N: Wow, this chapter was CRAZY y'all. But I kinda had a feeling Sasha was going to bite it eventually…I mean she was supposed to die MUCH EARLIER in the story but still. The way she went out was horrible. Much like Petra, she was killed by a fellow human being. And now Springles has gone the way of Rivetra. Sunk at the harbor. What a birthday present for Connie. First his village was destroyed, then he lost the girl he loved-don't tell me they weren't thinking of getting married after the war. This poor kid has lost so much. Now instead of getting away clean, their victory has been tainted by another senseless death. They won't be able to enjoy it.**

 **PROTECT CONNIE AT ALL COSTS 2K18!**


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